Triggers

triggers
uncover your heart wound
barely covered by time
like that
I am swept out to the darkest depths of my grief
tears flow relentlessly
where only days ago I thought they were dried up
Losing you is still the most painful experience I have and I can have it over and over again
Breathe
Breathe
I keep taking one breath after another, calming myself to live without you
just as I have for sixteen months
and will for the rest of my life

Bee Houghton

Grief is a funny thing
how you can be smiling and functioning and doing all the right things
and completely falling apart
all at the same time
crying in all the little moments between life
choking for air
a heart irrevocably broken
no sense of meaning
despite meaning presenting itself constantly
utter devastation
shattered in ways unseen and unexplainable
How it lingers in the core of every cell in your being
How it can be triggered by almost anything even months and years afterwards with equal intensity to the first wave
How it is you…

Bee Houghton